When I got up this morning I felt disgusting, as though I had climbed out of the belly of some recently killed beast and was having to find my way to the kettle.
Then Dan squinted at my face and said "have you got some kind of spot?". I never get spots, so something was clearly amiss (no, I wasn't hungover) and I had to take action.
I love the Lush Ocean Salt body scrub but I haven't had any for a while as it's a little bit expensive, although I love it so much I do believe it to be value for money. So I made my own scrub in an attempt to remove some of the bumps and other unpleasant things that coated my skin. I used some salt, lime zest and a small amount of almond oil I found in the bathroom cabinet.
Professional skin care producers need not worry about me taking over their empire just yet. Still, it smelled amazing and was suitably scrubby on my arms and legs. I even found some body lotion to slap on afterwards so if very much felt like I was as pampered as I can cope with, in fact I'm a bit shiny.
I don't know if there's a coconut, apple, mint and lime based mocktail out there, but if there is, I smell like it.
Then I faced my wardrobe, which is always a bit of a mess, despite there not being all that much in there. The main problem are things like the bag I use twice a year when I have to go somewhere nice, belts, scarves, gloves and all that stuff. Then it dawned on me that two drawers of my chest of drawers were empty - and here I am drowning in mess like a fool.
I swear, I am this close to being a genius.