This morning has been very different to yesterday. I'd like to say it was just a new attitude, or gumption, but it's not. I recorded the Channel 4 show OCD Cleaners. I know everyone feels motivated to clean when they see this type of show, I am especially motivated because it reminds me of how my house used to look.
Ten years ago I could have been on one of those shows. I always had a messy rooms when I was little, other than when I had a blitz and organised things perfectly - which if course didn't last more than a day or two. I continued in this way for years. Poor old Dan, it wasn't his fault, he tried his best, but it was my mess and my mind that held me back, he was fighting a losing battle. I'm sure I've mentioned in the past that on occasion he'd have to go to the 24 hour supermarket to buy clothes to wear at work that day. Not good.
Then I stopped being like that and threw things away, got into a routine, did stuff and found that the doing of stuff was what got things done. It took a long time, but eventually the house was ideal. In fact I was probably a little bit too routine led for about a year, but it was what I needed at the time. Then I had so much time. Time i wasn't spending looking for things just in order to get out of the house, time to let people in to do jobs that needed to be done, time to do things we wanted to do, and time to relax without looking around at all the things than paralysed me.
After a treacle day like yesterday, watching that show and feeling for those disorganised people gave me a bittersweet feeling, understanding how those people got to where they found themselves and also remembering the feeling of freedom from all that held me back. By 9.30 things were very shiny and citrus scented. I am quilting though, so there's still fabric all over the place!