Tuesday, 26 August 2014

Impulsive and Considered

After reading about it on a few blogs we took ourselves off to Redbrick Mill on Saturday. Mainly to feel the heft of Made.com furniture but also to just have a nice drive and a poke around. We didn't find a sofa we like more than the one we have fondled many times in Lytham but we did see many other things. Dan chose three lamps to come home with, which I'm more than happy about. since his realisation that the house was a little scruffy, rather than the gorgeous vision he had in his mind, he has been unstoppable!

Sometimes I say to Dan that I wish I could remove everything from the house and start all over again, just bringing certain things in and giving other things a rest. Well, over the next two weeks we'll be doing just that. Everything has to come out of the dining room to house the rabbits and everything has to come out of the living room to house the workmen. It'll be fun shopping from the garage to bring the right bits and bobs back in. 

This is a bit negative so forgive me. Yesterday we went to see Dan's mum, prior to that we went to look for a new duvet cover (Dan's idea) so we asked his mum if she wanted to come, knowing full well she'd say no. But we ask anyway. We bought a duvet, which means the much stitched and otherwise repaired cheap one (well, really it was free as I bought it with a giftcard I received one Christmas) can be retired and used as a dust sheet when everything goes into the garage next week.

I am finding it near impossible to spend time with Dan's mum at the minute, the negativity is overwhelming to me and because nothing will change it's exceptionally frustrating and I just find it difficult to cope when I'm around her. Yes, I know that's horrible, I am trying to let it wash over me and work on my feelings. 

One positive from it all is that it's motivating me to not become like that, so I can aim to keep my world large, to look outwards and to keep my mind as open as possible. 

Dan has already been asking me what I'd like to do for my birthday, as I am 40 next time round. Obviously my world is smaller than a lot of people my age because we can't leave the buns, but I don't want my life to stand still, I don't want to be stuck in a timewarp where the time I was happiest was 30-odd years ago. I'm not going to be jumping out of a plane or starting my own multi-national business but I can do all those little things that make life better. I may want to live inside my comfort zone, but even that can change and adapt. 

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