Friday, 11 July 2014

one in, one out

I couldn't sleep last night, turning things over in my head. I spoke with Dan about it, even though we have a rule that we don't talk about money when in bed.
I quite like a lot of thrifty stuff, I even quite like cooking when it's making do, rather than having a choice. Dan doesn't. He doesn't want to spend his time thinking about that stuff, having lists and things like that. He likes a straight edge.

That's what our issue boils down to - choice. We are fine when there's no choice, things are easy, we just get on with things. But when we do have choice it's different, there's conflict. We do what we need to do, pensions, emergency funds etc, so it's hard to maintain intensity for other things. Our pressures are mainly internal, I can't blame friends, family or society.

Our priorities differ too, which makes it difficult to set any goals. When we're aimless it's easy to waste resources. Emergency budget meeting ahoy!

8 comments:

  1. It sure is easier if your "both singing from the same hymn sheet" as my Nan used to say. We had the no sorting money or listening to the news after 6pm rule or it played on my mind and I wouldn't sleep. Good luck with your emergency budget xx

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    1. Thanks Julee. Having that cut off point really helps doesn't it?

      I think we're pretty close to singing from the same hymn sheet, we're certainly sharing a pew!

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  2. It may be worth considering doing a Meyers Briggs personality type test for the both of you - even though I am sure you know each other very well discovering which type you are is fascinating - how you process information, if you like tangible goals or just a concept...also it may help you communicate to your husband in terms that his personality will respond to positively.
    Most of my married life has been a mystery as far as what goes on in my husband's head but as nears 60 and the possibility of early retirement he has been willing to discuss money matters, but neither of us ever wanted to over spend or use credit - we are old enough to have grown up without it.
    Now we are focused with a time frame of a few years we have decided to save as hard as we can so before we potentially elect to have a reduced income (pension) we will have decent savings, no mortgage and a new car ( his wish not particularly mine)

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    1. Thanks for taking the time to comment.

      The personality test could be a good way to get us talking productively. Dan does that kind of training as part of his job, so ge has lots of materials. Talking about things in that way could lessen the emotion.

      He did say this morning that lots of the spending is escapism. Work us so draining at the minute that it's nice to be away looking at nice things. He's right, it's the same for both of us. I think we have a way forward now though.

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  3. we all need stuff - but it's knowing when enough is enough.
    There is a great blog, Simple living in Suffolk written by a man who 'retired' early from a very stressful job - not only did he save and get rid of his debts ( mortgage) but also reduced his consumption of stuff...
    I do think especially while you are young to enjoy treating yourself but to remember you are spending your future money.
    Have a look at the blog - it's wordy but very informative

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    1. Oh thanks, I'll read that this weekend.

      You're right about "enough". I think we just need to stop buying instead of doing, at the minute we're buying to avoid other things.

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  4. i think that what dan says about spending is very true.

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    1. Me too, I just have the time and head space for a challenge!

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