I am anti-faff. I know everyone kind of is but I really am anything for an easy life, apart from when it comes to quilting. In that regard I love the misery.
Doing the life audit means looking at things that touch my life as well as things that I am/do. I've worked really hard at getting rid of the barriers that stop me doing the things I want to do most and things are easier. Much of the time it's just about not thinking too much. There are two things that are holding me back and they're big in a way and small in other ways. They are both a faff though.
Firstly, the garden. There is a lot of work to do in the garden and I am eternally thankful to Father for doing the main clearing and fence fixing. However, there are some things I want to do myself. Father is in no way stopping me from doing it, but having to deal with the fall out of my decision making is. Because he's a proper gardener he wants to help me avoid all the mistakes, but for me to feel confident about gardening I need to make the mistakes to really feel that it's not the end of the world. So I've been reading and I'm just going to get out there and dig a bit of my lawn up, plant some veg and if it doesn't grow then it's just tough.
Secondly is my blue sideboard. Again, this is the hangover of someone's kindness. When we moved into our other house eleven years ago, my parents gave us a sideboard. It fit really well into our old house as it filled up a massive room when we didn't have very much furniture and it was kind of useful. But not really all that useful. Our mistake was to bring it here. When it came into this little white box it was clear the sideboard had seen better days. So I painted it and we nearly killed ourselves getting it up the stairs into the front bedroom.
The thing is, nothing fits in it. It's just about deep enough to hold a sheet of A4 paper. I keep trying various things but nothing works, it's always a pain to deal with. So I should get rid of it. I think I'd be ok with that, but to get it out of the house I'd have to break it up. That's the thing I don't know about and it's holding me back. It's no good to me really but there's nothing wrong with it but I can't get it down the stairs. This is how I tie myself up in knots.
The funny thing is, I'm fine with big decisions, they don't scare me at all. It's just these little having to deal with what other people think, because I'll have to hear all about it even though I don't really care what they think.
After churning all this over in my mind Dan informed me that he really loves the sideboard and he likes looking at it even if it's useless. That's good enough for me.
Another thing, I had a really good time at the charity shop yesterday. I think I'm finally getting used to it, I'm entrusted with some extra tasks these days which breaks up the standing behind the counter bit. So I'm happy with that too.