I love taking photographs, I know everyone does but I really do. Dan used to not quite tell me off but tell me I didn't need to take the camera everywhere. This has changed over the last little while, especially since I took a photo of one hotel that I loved and then the next time we passed by it had been demolished. This has been on my mind since I spoke about it here last week
I need to find the balance though. I think I've mentioned before that my house used to be a tip. It really was a mess, I've always been an untidy person and I find it hard to throw things away. When I started clearing the house out I realised that part of my thing was that I felt the need to keep hold of memories. Not that it was my role to do it but that it was important that someone was looking after things. This lead to me keeping hold of ridiculous things including odd socks that I remembered wearing when certain significant things happened and the paper napkin that was wrapped around the first chocolate brownie I ever ate. I mean, why is that important to remember?
Anyway, it took me ages to let go of all this stuff and to get to a point where I could just leave things, not feel the need to rescue things and to accept that even the small things don't matter that much, they're just nice things but they don't really impact on the overall outcome of my life. If something goes then sometimes it's enough for me to remember that it once was even if there is no visual reminder.
So it's a struggle. When you see change you can't not see it. So I have to try really hard to let things go. If I snap something just in time or find an old picture that captured something that's now gone then it's a bonus and a nice little boost. I need to remember that my hobby is one particular thing, discreet images of things I find important, not a map of how everything is in my world. If other people choose to modernise their house I don't need to fill my garage with their old doorhandles and sinks. It's hard to let it go but I'm at a point where I need to do it even if a doorhandle or something would improve my world a little bit. Some things when they're gone they're gone forever, some things will come around again. That's the level of discrimination I need. Keep it simple and don't start rolling down the slippery slope.