Monday, 11 March 2013

Rose Tinted

I feel amazing. An hour ago I felt like I needed an oxygen mask and a foil blanket but now I feel on top of the world. All down to our friends exercise and the brain. 

I love how my brain tricks me, when I was flat on my face and my arms were wobbling like crazy I was in two worlds - one world where I thought I was crazy and would never exercise again and the other where I was looking at myself wondering why I ever stopped. 

I think we have to rose tint the past sometimes to stop ourselves going doolally or from being consumed by guilt or regret. We need to be able to embrace bittersweet because sometimes we need to really believe it was all worth it, that the pain and the hard work were worth the outcome. So I can laugh about how messy my house used to be because I've diminished the pain and hard work it took to change. Same with losing weight, now I look back I remember the smoothies and the first time I climbed that hill without crying and learning to cook. But I choose to forget not going on nights out because I was too fat to fit into my clothes and I laugh about getting stuck between the tv unit and coffee table. I need to be able to laugh about it because it's what keeps me moving forward. 

Dwelling too much on what I could have done with all the money I wasted on music, beer and shoes or how I could be climbing mountains and doing press ups with one finger, or whatever it is just doesn't help. We can learn the lesson without dragging the bad stuff round with us. We all need to just think differently sometimes, often just a change of language will do the trick - budgeting isn't difficult, it's just detailed (and involves facing facts!), exercise isn't boring, it just takes your full concentration, cooking isn't tedious it just takes effort. It's another trick to make things better. 

So even now as I enjoy my protein-based snack and feel the blood pumping through my veins I can feel happy that the pain I'm almost certainly going to have tomorrow is worth it. And I'm already kind of looking forward to not being able to walk properly on Thursday after squats and lunges the day before. That's the good thing about the brain, it allows us to understand our achievements before we can see them, all we have to do is stop thinking about the change or willing it, we just need to do something and the motivation will come. 

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